New hairstyle

Everytime i am upset i will cut my hair.
and indeed after a change of my hairstyle i feel much more better...
hehe..fresher.
I hate myself from looking 'yucks'(but most of the time i am 'yucks'...haha coz of my size...will try hard to improve that...seem like i am not persistant towards this must change!)
when i'm down i also like to dress myself up and go out walk walk.
walk alone.

Actually i need to change alotz alotz
i still dun like the way i am.
in terms of outlook and internal build and talents.
so much to change...haix...
before 26...hahaha...
must be better n better n can be better n better...
will be...

I have high expectation for myself.
i ask for perfection for myself but i know nothing is perfect so at least close to perfect.i want my future wife to be the most fortunate girl on earth.at least to do all i could to make her happy.Hopefully all the time.but yet i dunno if i am dreaming anot cause sometime when u love someone and that someone love you,you tend to make her upset in something u do when u least realize.But no matter wat loving her wholeheartedly are always the case,i always love my partner wholeheartedly but something in me always make her cry...i must change i think is my character???still working on it.wat a girl reali want?
maybe if the girl reali love you...she wun wan anything but ur love...u to be by her side...i always ask ppl,ppl always ans me this but isit reali the case?

I want to be close to perfect for ***her...for myself...for my dream...for proving things can change and for living my life fullest to be wat i wan to be.

Must she appear first before i get everything back?

I use to have talents in most of the things i do when she around but after she's gone seem like everything disappear with her...i got no heart to do my best for anything anymore.

i always think myself is lousy but sometime i do admire myself.haha
*crazy

Perhaps only when you are here with me holding my hand.i had the power to change my life,myself,everything.or perhaps is just an excuse.i just can't get it done anymore.
but where is she?still waiting... .. . ... my future must have ***her in it.

maybe you all might luff at my foolishness but i've been thinking my dreamz for years and without her i cldn't complete it.now all i could do is to get as much money as possible...after that comes all the talents n changes...haha...n when???
OMG!!! will try my best to get my favourite car in one yr time 1st!

shall see...

Am i ready to love?
i don't want my sickness to get control over me again...i must be strong...to dare to pick it up and let it down.i must.i will.
Be a man!my dad told me this...i will remember...and i also remember i said that to him on my grandma's funeral.

i can get thru my grandma death i can get thru everything!!!! cause my grandma is the one i love the most ever. but now i losing her forever. nono she is in my heart always! (sorry i can't promise a few person who is my dad,mum,sis and my wife.wife huh not gf.:P) - till the day come den see how. *CHEY

*when my fate comes.i will grab it.i wun be a coward anymore.i have to be brave enough towards everything.

---Thanks to all the people that step into my blog...opps sorry i grumble in my entry again...hehe...bored??? no exciting story thou.:PppPpp