Gastric pain!

It's 3am now and i just reach home
It's weekday i know...
but i go drinking again...
dunno isit i long time nv drink or wat...
only drink vodka brandy mix n beer...
but gosh...
nv drunk la still can drive...
but came home gastric pain...n head pain...haix
Perhaps i only will drink until drunk when i very upset...
not very upset wun drunk...haha...
dunno la...the past is the past...i m strong now...haha
BUT don't fight liquor with me coz i swear i never wan to get drunk animore!
i wun...my strong mentality wun allow me too...=>

Wow today i drive n drive after my drinking session...
i really wan to go her hse n see if she's aslp...
i wanted to be her quiet angel beside her thou she cldn't see...
watch her frm downstair to 13th floor...
but...........
i never...coz i remember i told her i will go very far away frm her...

I cant forget...

everyone told me that she will nv be back...
i believe...
but still i cldn't let go...
coz...
i think of her every moment...
i dun wan to love her animore...
n sayang i wun say i love u...
but i really miss u like crazy...
but no worry...
wun be not in control...
coz...i will HONOUR my words...=>

Heard frm friends that she is doing fine...
she is doing well n with somebody else...
congrate...
hope she/he can give u the love u wanted...
i can't...
the 'demon' take my soul away...
i m scare too...
but what i remember in my mind...
is still the times when i make you smile make you luff make you do ur stupid face n 'dei' with me... -i smile-
I refuse to remember times when i make u cry...
coz i bleed inside when u cry too...

Finally i know why beginning is always sweet...
becoz at first i dun realli love u...
but when i love u more n more...
it become painful...
becoz i wanted to protect u...
i wanted so much to let u understand but u din...
nvm...

LY: I know u keep telling me she wun be back...if she will she already come back...not i refuse to listen to u...u must understand...it's hard for me to forget someone tt i really love before...moreever it's only 3 months! how to forget?u teach me?it's just like 3 days...i not like anibody else...i m not...we gone thru we walk thru...frm the start to end...it's written down on my secret diary...so much with her...we share the laughter n pain...i believe she in the other end...also wun forget all this...if she cld...den i got nothing to say...perhaps i m just weak...give me more time cld u...i try to forget and step into new r/s...for now...dun force me...i will oni hurt another party n myself!

//To the recent her : i really wan to tell u 'nothing matters as long as u r here with me'...
BUT I CANT...
i cant forget her...
i'm afraid i will hurt u in the end...
so i wun be with u...//

* Yes i m single...but..i m not available...my heart is taken away...i have to find it back...till the day i find it back i will hold ur hand TIGHT i promise! *

Oh yar finally i completed my big project...
haha the 'Yi Gen Ren Sheng Huo' song...
as promise will upload on sat!...

Catch up with u all den...
no worries guys...
i m doing well...
I m not happy but at least not upset too...=>

Good night...WOop gastric pain like gone like tt...haha...=PPpPPPpPp

ps::Knn write finish liao gastric pain come back haunt me again...nvm nvm i go roll on my bed...tml will be better!