Private entries

I am too free...
and i open out my last year(2005) private entries...
I wanted to read only last year today entries...
but as i go on reading i can't stop...
It almost bring me to tears...
I should have deleted it...
shouldn't read it again n bring pain into my heart again...
but i will be fine...
here r something i wrote...(i quoted only words i like most and comment which i write NOW!) *actually meant for me to write out my feeling n read but if u so curious den go ahead n read lor...

[ 6/12/05 :

somehow i feel i dun hav enuff time...just wan to treasure it...
Comment: I still feel the same...but no more time for us anymore...it ended

7/12/05 :

we finished our 24 hours maraton...i wan to finish years n even forever with her...go ahead n say i m silly...even so...i juz wan to be...
Comment: You couldn't believe this till now i still silly

8/12/05 :

i dunno how long this can last...i hope it can be very very long...weeks months or even years...will we drag soon?after she work after i work...but true love wun drag in e heart the distance always close...as long as we believe it together...=> I waiting for miracles!
Comment: Last for months.We din really drag after she n me work...only after she change to her last job she holding now.still waiting for miracles

9/12/05 :

my mind is away...or sld i say my heart?
fall aslp at ktv...think of her until slp...whaha...shit!...she's everywhere in my mind...! ArGGGHhhhH...hate this feeling thou sweet...=PppPp
Comment: My heart is not with me...till now...still so

10/12/05 :

i dun lies at least not to u .....when i cant even comfort ur tears...i feel useless...i dunno if this is real...but if it's juz a dream...i rather slp forever...nv to wake up...
Comment: I din lie to her.I can never comfort her tears.I m useless.It's real but now it's memories and i just wana drown in my dreamz

11/12/05 :

i m not scared...i trust her...i miss u even thou we just part...i wan to be with u...as long as it cld be...i hope to fuifil my dreamz n ur dreamz together...I hope this last...i pray tt u will be the one who walk down the red carpet with me...
Comment: I can only pray

12/12/05 :

we go buy chocolate to eat...she feed me eat first n drink the liang cha...erm heard b4 if u feed the person first b4 urself...mean u love her more den urself...is tt true?...if so WOoohoo so happi...coz she feed me first...i will feed her first too...i love her more den i love myself...
she told me she nv feel so xin fu b4...yes me too!
dunno why she cry...maybe her past or maybe she feel sad for me...she feel the pain in me...once yes...i m painful but with u...the pain just gone...she took the initiative to ask for a hug 2 days ago...& today i took the initiative to ask if i cld kiss her...
- I got so much to say to make u understand how i feel...but...ur every words mean so much!Some hurts...some sweet... -
Comment: The pain came back to me but i will be fine

15/12/05 :

You will be the first person and the last person i keeping this diary record...!
Comment: Yes she will be the first n last

16/12/05 :

i wan to hold u so tight n tell u pls dun ever leave me...but i din...i m happi tt i have her but i so afraid to lose her
Comment: I already lose her.nthing to fear just pain

18/12/05 :

i love her...but i noe very soon we wun be able to spent as much time together but i noe our heart will not be apart...u r my everything sayang!
Comment: No time is alrit...but it even tear us apart

19/12/05 :

she told me her fren laura saw her always holding not the same person hand...this somehow scare me...i start to feel afraid...i dunno but yar i trust her...i trust our love will not so easy die...i hope so...i pray!
Comment : This doesn't mean anything...she's a nice girl...till now i still think so...just that i am not good enough for her...:)

20/12/05 :

Alrit frm here stop saying clothes coz always repeat wearing...hehe
Comment : Is this cutez coz all my entries tok about wat we wear...but i din regret writing that down becoz i can remember the exact scenerio

22/12/05 :

i juz afraid to lose u...as time goes by i love u more n more n m so afraid one day u will dun love me animore n leave me...
Comment: She dun love me animore?no idea even so...wat can i do?

25/12/05 :

Thanks for being there to hug me when i m in pain...i feel secure with u ard...
Comment: The feeling had gone

26/12/05 :

we will get thru it together...i trust her...we will be xin fu in e end...=>
i miss my sayang...u change my life...u brought me to paradise...no matter how long it cld be...i m contented as i have u by my side...
Comment: She did change my life...make me learn...no we din go thru it together...now tt i m fine...i dun blamn her frm leaving me

27/12/05 :

she say she will go thru it with me...thanks alotz sayang...n i noe u will...i love u seriously i love u...alotz...i cant explain why...but feel so close with u like we
already together for years...i appreciate everything u do for me...i can see...i m not blind!
Comment: I really wana say to u a BIG THANK YOU and i REALLY APPRECIATE you once step into my life!-from the bottom of my heart-

30/12/05 :

her beauty had capture my whole heart n i cant concentrate on ani other thing else
Comment: Now i can't concentrate on anything else neither

31/12/05 :

i wan to hold u to fufil or to see something frm my dreamz...with u i can be strong...with u...u let me see the hope in life...u nv noe how much u mean to me...coz it's beyond wat u feel!
Comment: i feel hopeless now...it's beyond wat she can feel and understand

Alright i just read until the month dec...hehe...anyway...it's all sweet memories...:)...i never regret...not tearing but smiling now...

*It's only one year...if i can forget...i m NOT sam yong animore!Pls understand...