Heart pain!

I cldn't describe the pain endure inside me ever since she left me...
it's nv ok...every min every sec it ache...
i do not want to show out becoz dun wan anione to worry...
i waiting for the day to leave here for long...
but fuck something happened...
i cant go over to UK at the moment...
need to be postponed...
but as such...
i will leave as soon as possible to another place...
perhaps california/sydney...
i just wan to leave here as fast as i cld...
i dun wan to think animore...
my head breaking apart...
I'm going crazy day by day i m...
i have no heart to do anithing but to just drown myself to slp...
or dance off my pain...drink until i sick or smk until i cant see anithing...
i want to cry but i forgotten when was the last time i cried...
coz i've no more tears...
realli...
n this make me feel even worse...
i need to go...i must go...even i was to fly alone...
i m waiting...
waiting to leave...
waiting to abandon everything...
waiting to face a new life...

* If this is the way to make me feel better...i'll do it *

11pm sunday,23/7/2006