I miss my grandma!

I miss my grandma...
but she wun believe me...
i too ashame to face her...
i feel guilty...
i m unfilial...
i sld have go to hell...
ah ma...
if i noe having back my life back will lose u n sis...
i will nv wan my life back!
=...<
Now even begging to god seem so helpless to me!
Do u u u or YOU understand how i feel?
i feel terrible!
NO MATTER FACING WHO...
I FEEL MISERABLE!
if leaving is the only way out...
let me go...
let me leave singapore to study or wat...
as excuse or wat...
but nv to come back again!
Avoiding is not the best solution...
but at least a way out for me...
DON FORCE ME ANIMORE!

* I dun want to own anione anithing...dun wan to feel guilty for all my life time so i rather die at that time u UNDERTSTAND?!!! *