Tuesday, September 20, 2005

I'll Never Find Someone Like You

Here is another version of this song...kaka...dun mind k...

As promised i will write 'our' story out today n here.
For a special girl that i dun think i can ever find another one like her.
Everyone is special in one way or another.
I dunno how to put it in words or how to say how special she is to me.
N nope she's not my lover not b4 not now.
I m glad tt she still give me the chance to be her frenz all along for this 5 year plus.
I did hurt her b4 i guess...did make her cry b4...but...i did pain myself becoz of her too...the words tt nv meant to be but force it out frm my mouth...break the bond between me n her...
If only if only i say out those word tt i sld n tt's in my heart...perhaps now things wun be the same or maybe worsE?no one know...=>

Now we are not as close as b4...but...just glad tt i din lose her forever.
This song is the song we once hold and there still song like 'dreaming of you' 'in love with you' 'only love' but this is the song which i think marked her in my mind.

The story begin (Note the story below might be true and might be untrue) :

In the yr 2000 july we get to know each other thru irc. She clicked on my nick and we chatted. That time she like someone call F. haha...n she keep telling me thing about her...she's an innocent girl...everything just so simple for her. I guess me too. I like to listen to her grumbling...yep no complain.haha but i always think( to myself)...why not just come n like me better la...haha...coz the way i find her loving her like love until very cham like tt...=x

We alotz of similarity...same age...same academic level...same is convent girls sch...same naive...haha. But out of all my internet frenz can say i tok to her the most...we even exchanged phone number. Never really thought of meeting up with her coz she live too far...one north one south n tt time i dunno how to drive no money tak taxi also...lolx...tak bus? i m a idiot in tt...haha...

Becoz of so many similarity thus we got many thing to tok about.She call me one day...tt day i m sitting infront of my computer still chatting with her using icq n den she call...i m so shocked i tot is who...den she tell me is her...i was thinking (isit she scare i give her fake no)...haha but i wun la i very honest de...keke...after that very call she nv fail to call me all the time...Everyday 10pm she will call...lolx...or sometime earlier...if sunday den we will tok WHOLE day...haha n all i have to do is to wait for her call...wakaka...call until my parent also keep ask who is the person who keep calling u...n tok to u till morning all the time!...hahaha...yep we often tok n tok until forget the time...listening to her voice make me sometime fall aslp...opps...not bcoz she is boring coz i m too tired...n she always refuse to put down the phone...coz she will miss me...hahaha...do i miss her? erm...i dunno but xi guan tt she keep call n 'disturb' me...infact i like her keep bombing my pager my hp or my house phone...without her 'disturb' i will feel uneasy...n tt time our phone bill...lolx...lolx...bomb also...n she still luff when telling me this...this is how cutez she is...she very cheerful de...i like her keep tok tok tok luff luff luff...becoz she tok too much i call her '38 bo'...lolx...n she call me '38 gong'...lolx...yar lar admit la...coz anithing tt got to do with her i also wan to noe!...=PppPp...She even sent me bubble gum....lolx...grape flavour...funni rit?sent thru mail!...hahaha...erm...her handwriting very cutez la...n the bubble gum...i din eat put there 'pai sui' until..........i think she gone so the bubble gum sld be gone too...=>...read on to find out wat happened.

Infront of me she seldom frown...infact the only time she seem irritated and frustrated is when she told me...erm cant really remember but someone bullied her...i tok with her using my very first hp...hahaha...in the bus with my frenz...i still remember my frenz still say...'wow ur hp no need money wan hoh'...lolx...but i had no choice mahz...she got trouble i got to listen to her grumbling until she finish mahz or later she sad...lolx...oh yar...last time i own pager n everytime we put down the phone before i slp...she will leave a voicemail for me say 'good night'...sweet right...but last time got other girl also like tt la but she the most regular one...hahaha...tt's the reason why i dun wan cancel my pager voicemail...hehez...

OkOk...problem start when i have a so call 'di'...got alotz of 'di' tt time la...lolx...den she(di) tell me she like her...eh...tt time i really naive de...keke...i tot oh like huh...mean very very like like tt...coz i m like tt mahz den i try to let dem together...wow who noe she not serious de...actually i also dunno if she(the girl) is serious to me but all i noe is her possession over me mak me feel her love...n tt last very long...as for if i m serious toward her...i m but tt time i dunno tt's why create alotz alotz of messy thingy...aniway yep i mak a great mistake...i say thing i sldn't have...i dunno if she is true but i just shoot the words without thinkin...i regret but regret cant change anithing coz i cant tak back wat had been said n girls!Girls are the most cruel creature of all...once their decision is set...nothing change not like boy( i regard boy as guys or bung)...

But no matter wat i still wait for her call as usual...but expected she din call me animore...din call me regular...she changed...just becoz of tt sentance...i think she changed!...no longer the girl who cld let me mak sacrifies for her...thou she told me she nv change but she did...maybe i realli did hurt her or maybe everything it's not wat i think...i dunno...i wanted to give her up...but i just can't get use the life without her...without her nagging...without her 38ness...without her call...everything seem different...she nv call...nv tok till dawn with me...but i cldn't close my eyes n slp...infact my mind was thinking wat she is doing rit now...

I listen to the song in my entry over n over again...just like the lyric in the song which i wanted to tell her...'I played around girl and I made you cry
When I looked up you were saying goodbye...I'm begging you please I need you so bad...don't leave me no...' But no i din let her noe how much i wan us to be like how we use to be...instead i giv up...coz i noe thing can nv be the same...i cried...yes i cried...the tears of missing...the tears of my mistake...my wrong...n of coz the tears for losing someone who almost reach your life.

I hate myself from making her cry...
I hate myself from fooling her around with my words....
I hate myself from undecisive...
I hate myself for being unable to be there with her when she need someone...
I hate myself coz i can't turn back the time...
I hate myself from not letting her know but letting her go...

One day she surprise me by calling me telling me she in same sch as me...the first thing that came across my mind is that we had fulfil wat we had said...to be in same sch with each other after our 'o' level.

It's nv easy to maintain r/s...even i m with her at the very beginning...maybe now we can't even be frenz if we broke up as a lover...who noe rit...so i m glad just glad tt i now can call her name...can hear her voice...can think of her...tt's enuff...as long as the memories make me smile...the present let me feel contented...it's enuff...it doesn't matter if we r meant to be n it doesn't matter whose hand she holding to rit now coz as long as she is happi...i will be too...

The song :

Oh... I'll never find I'll never find someone like you
Girl, you take my breath away
And when I with someone new
I'd rather be here with you baby forever
Ooh my heart belongs to you
Girl I'm thinking 'bout you all the time
I know my love is true
When we're together
I played around girl and I made you cry
When I looked up you were saying goodbye
I'm begging you please I need you so bad
Don't leave me now you're the best that I've had

CHORUS:
I'll never I'll never find someone like you
No I'll never I promise it's true Oh
I'll never I'll never find someone like you
Ooh baby Cuz I love the way that you are
And girl I won't no I won't let you go
No one could ever do Love me like I love you

All I have is just my heart
And my feelings I give to you
That's all that I can do girl baby forever
Ooh you don't know that you're hurting me
Cuz it's not just a sexual thing
I wanna share my dreams
Baby, together
Oh girl I'm afraid just to give you the love
My heart's telling me to hold on to my love
But when you get close I want you to know
I start to get weak and I can't let you go

CHORUS

Just your smile
That's all I need
Think again Girl I won't let you down
Girl I will never find someone that compares to you

CHORUS (2x)

*If she is happy with someone else now...i DUN regret for letting her go*

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