Sunday, November 16, 2008

What is Freedom?

There's many things in life we dun and never will understand until it really hit on you.
like you never taste an apple before you never know how an apple taste like.
i just read from a book :
to many people,they wun know the real meaning of freedom.
i always thought that freedom is to break thru from ppl who control my life like my family,boss or my friends but now i realize i'm wrong.
Freedom is when u left with no more choice.
you have a choice to do whatever u want in life.
ur family nor anyone cant take away this choice of yours but when u had no more choice left,been lock up with a thought of emptiness that lies within you,the only thought left in you is to breakthru.how?
Have to try very hard to peace ur mind and...
when u find no way out,ppl will have suciding thoughts running all over their mind.
when they been control internally by their own mind and that is what they unable to break it thru.
Trust who?
in this world there's no one u can trust, not even yourself.sometime you even betrayed ur ownself without u knowing.like ur belief and thoughts.
when u are alone,it seem like you own the whole world,no one control you,but u feel unhappy and empty cause ur mind controlling u!
uncontented,never.
when u think that u are contented, actually you are not .devils thought.

while ultimately just do watever u wan to do just lead the life u wanted,most importantly cherish watever u have enjoy to ur max and be happy while u have a choice.But think twice when u want to do anything in life.coz u might leave with regret the next moment and u den drive urself to a corner in life with no more choice left. Do it right!

To my beloved grandma who's in heaven:

Till now,i find it hard to accept u not by my side to guide me anymore.Life is so short.just a few months of sickness before u left me eternally.I regretted for being unable to repay the kindness u put on me thruout this 24 years of my life.I hope that u look after me from above ah ma.No matter where u are,this is for you. ----i love you eternally till my last breath.-----

To my greatest parents:

Everytime i fall,you never fail to stand by me.To protect me,to support me,to give me all the warmth i need to feel.you never give up on me,never fail to console me to ease my pain.I am unfilial i know..i never did my part.i wanted to try my very best to do watever i can for you but yet i fail again n again and make u worry for me more n more.I never want to do this.i want to control my own mind and get a hold of myself so as not to let you worry for me but why??why i just fail again n again.watever it might be,i will try again n again for you. ----Both of you are the ones i most afraid to lose and cant afford to lose.----

To my sis:

I know that u left home and stay there cause you had no choice and i am the one who created all this.I really upset cause nowadays whenever i want someone to tok to i got no one.I reali hope u will come home one day and like my sis again and not drifting from your family further and further.Do we have another chance?----I really want to cherish you---

To *her:

We put a fullstop in our fate.Sometime i really bad to you but u still put up with me.I know that's becoz you love me and dun wan to leave me.You are the only one who go thru my life stages(bad) with me.Many things happened while we are together.We cried,we laugh,we scream,we tired...but we still try to get it going.Thanks for going thru all those with me.Without me and with someone else u might be happier.i wanted to give you the world and put watever u ever wanted in your hands using my barehand but it will never come true cause we are gone.My blog song for you "Goodbye" from Air Supply. Ps: I know this day will come but i never think that losing you can be so painful.I think this song is best for you.every words.i love u thou... .. ...


*******I'm a fuck up person,i despise myself,i hate myself BUT i will continue to try to be better n better.********

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