FRi & SaT woNdErFuL
A long entry...=]
Today is mon...Eeeee...i hate mon n tuesday...haix...erm my program stuck...i dunno how to do le...shall wait boss come tell him the true...lolx...'program mei you...ming yi tiao...wan tak it...' lolx...kekeke...
Fri...Before i start my fri outing...write something about my sis...finally get the chance to tok to her before i go out...we chat in msn online...tok about how each other feel n so on...she say she regret something which she refuse to tell me and she say she got her reason for doing wat she doing...i told her she break manys heart...the heart of my parent...my grandma and of coz include the heart of mine...i almost cry while typing...so many thing i just wan her to noe...she always been a dearest sis to me...supporting my wrong n rit...all the way pull me thru...sis i wan u to noe...if i noe i will change ur life all over...i wld not wan my life back...dun wan to use ur life change for mine...*sob*...i noe i noe...i have done a greatest mistake in my whole entire life that is not able to tak it at tt time when she left me...to cry for tt cruel her...to almost ruin my whole life just for her...i noe i noe...all this i sldn't have...i lead myself to hell n also lead u all to hell...that part of my life...forever i cldn't forget...yr 2003 july...when sam FALL...fall from heaven to hell...*sob*...it's been two yr...but den it still curve deep inside...coz becoz of this i lose my sis...thou she say i dun but i think it is...can u understand my feeling...i've been blaming myself all over n over again...NOT her i dun blamn her animore is me...why can't i just put down n let her go but have to let myself suffer like this...why can't i tak it easy that time...why did i ever allow myself to fall n my family to fall for me...all the tears tt build the cloud...*sob*...I M SORRY!!!...thou i noe nothing can turn back now...n u told me if the time is ripe u will tell me the reason but i realli dying to noe why...coz i dun wan to face everyday just like i m the only child...NO I M NOT!I HAVE A SISTER!...*sob*...u nv leave my heart NEVER...ur decision hurt me...but i dun blamn u...i noe ALL my fault...i brought all this up...i brought the pain to everyone...the most to dad n mum...dey r so sad for me that time n so sad for u now...i m INFILIAL...telling myself not to repeat ever again...so when the second time i fall...i kept it all by myself...not confronting to anione...but i noe the second time is not a great fall so i m fine...but even it is...i promise not to let history ever repeat in my life again...not going to let everyone suffer just for that cruel her...i m weak i admit...but i trying n m growing stronger n stronger...for everything i do...i noe wat i m doing...maybe wat i m doing in many eyes is wrong...but for me...as long as i m not sorry to my heart...it's fine...hope u respect my choice...n PLS cld u come back to this family as soon as u could?
To:The one who save my life...
I noe u will nv read this but i noe as long as i wrote it here u will noe...i noe if it wasn't for u...i cld be dead or even mad by now...but tell me...must i lose something so dearly to me for my life...r u the one who bring me back to life but took away a part of me too?I cldn't always be there n when my parents ask me to go there...i m not really happi...not becoz i dun wan see u is becoz the place is one...haix...when i saw my sis there...she is not herself...i dunno i cldn't see her soul dere...u change her all ard...why?...i just want to get away frm dere but not frm u but can i?And for the one who want to noe why...PLEASE DUN ever go find out the ans frm her...SO WAT IF U NOE?! NOTHING going to change!...i m glad tt i did not mak that decision or now my life will be worse n i will not be happi at all...i realli hope u could let her go n let her be back to herself...the one who i noe...she is my sister!
Readers: For the above entry about my sis...dun ask me about wat is it about of my sis coz i wun say...if dun understand which i guess no one cld (unless for those who noe me well)...den just forget about it...=>
My wonderful day with my buddy...kekeke...we went to geylang...hohoho...we go eat 'tian ji' porriage den eat durian...den next day sore throat...=x...coz too late eat le lah...=PppPp...after that we both go east coast park...hahaha...when we park our car we saw one family got many many dogs...SOOoooOo CUTEZZZzz...every single breed is so CUTEzzzZZ...and that peaceful night...east coast park got MANY STARS!...
OMG...so beautiful...look upon the sky...all stars...shining bright...haha...buddy say coz the cloud today din block it so many many stars...haha...we chat n i sing...muhahaha...den stupid her say opposite got audience...lolx...but yep the night scene is so beautiful especially very late at night ard 3 plus am...After that we went to woodland to play basketball...and guess wat on my way someone race with me!...lolx...but no one win or lose coz we go seperate way at the cross junction...keke...erm...yep...back to the wonderful court...haha...as usual no one...of coz no one...if got someone will scare me ar...lolx...muahhahaha...we play shooting...erm...abit 'tui bu' le my shooting n easily pant...haiz...think coz long time nv exercise le...cannot ar must run more le...haix...ar bo...play basketball no energy how can?...lolx...she need to reach hm b4 5am n den i wanted to try short cut but in the end the short cut become long cut...lolx...but yet manage to fetch her hm b4 5am!...whahhaa...*phew* her mum haven wake up yet or next time she cannot come out den die...lolx...i will be damn LONELY!...hehez...i love being with her...she mak me luff most of the time thou some of her joke so lame!...lolx...but yep njoy myself this 2 day alotz...read on to find out about sat...keke...
SAt again buddy with me but got others...hohoho...at first me n bud meet first...i go fetch her den we go town...hohoho...we go eat le walk walk ard den XL call...wan us go fetch her...den in the end must fetch KL n K home...aiyoyo...dey put on weight le...lolx...after fetch dem home so late le den bud need to go home act act first b4 can come out n play till mrning...n so i fetch her hm left me alone n XL...lolx..we nothing to do so go play pool while waiting...fun game long time no play pool le...hey we shall challenge again next time k...muahhaha...after our game my buddy say her parent haven slp...kaoz n it's already 1am!...nvm...i decide to go my KPT lim kopi...but i need to go toilet first so i go home..haha...den she sms me ask me go fetch YW...YW stay yio chu kang...so din manage to lim my kopi den go fetch YW with XL lor...again got one car race with me...haha n i dunno still blur...when red light we stop...n i wondering why he n his gf keep look over my car...den i ask XL...den XL say coz i overtake dem they 'bu shuang'...haha...in the end realli race...*faint* this time i infront but i stop my car coz reach YW hse there le...lolx...n he Zoom over....hohoho...so fun actually...when driving bored find some excitment is good...keke...but is we hengz no traffic police...next time might not so lucky le...=x...must careful...lolx...after we fetch YW buddy call...say she can come out le den go fetch her...n guess wat?! XL say wan go ard PS dere eat dou hua so we go but reach dere close liao...so in the end...we go to geylang eat dou hua...hahaha again geylang...lolx...second destination bud wanted to go ECP again...haha...den i say dun wan la change park...so we decide to go pasir ris park n den in car change her mind say why not go airport coffee bean...'tian ar'...ok we go airport but reach dere like nothing we go pasir ris again!...in the end PARK again!...hahaha...we go 'hai bian' but den today got rain so wet wet de the sand so...we can't sit...the weather so warm....dunno why no wind at all today...haix...we joke all the way while walking ard the park...n after tt dunno go where...hahaha...den bud say go play basketball lor...lolx..den i told her...den we r like repeating our routine like tt..haha...fri we do the same thing oni different park...lolx...but yep i prefer ECP...we din go basketball court!...we go boat quey...ahem...ok la dere got some part still happening la...but other den that the street so dark n quiet...got police somemore...haha....we go home after that coz too tired le...reach hm ard...6.30am...keke...this 2 day is exciting for me...n sat i realize tt i drive for almost 8 hours...hahaha..well m qualify to drive all the way to KL le..hohoho...will de sure got chance wan...*wink*...dun forget our camping trip...hohoho...
Sun...WOW...today first espisode for the...forget wat name le but fighting wan got member of 5566...wang ren fu and tony...haha...shuai manz in dere...WOW i envy tony in the show manz...so rich n got one damn pretty gf...n noe how to fight so talented...haix...nvm i work harder...haha...lolx...aniway nothing more le except this...slp early coz mon got to work...n it's today lor!...haix
In office now...so sianz...nothing...celin move out le...even more sianz...haix...no one...feeling...sux to the core...haix...can see i damn free coz my program stuck...since nothing to do blog lor...whhahahaha...more n more blogging to come...whahahaha...this diary of mine...share with many other...include my daily life n feeling...
Current feeling : Bad day for me i think coz i m someone who always gotta mon blue so trying to find something to mak me feel excited about mon n tues...my feeling r very messy...i dunno how to say...but definately not something good...but yet i m so fortunate...i got friends i got family...but...something missing out...n i dunno wat...u all might think is the *heR...but i dun think so...haix...if she come i noe there sure be gap between my fren n family which i dun wan it to...so dun wan her...but wat is tt that i feeling so awkard?i keep thinking wat to do after my attachment i'm so afraid...wat i wan to do definatly in everyone eyes is bad or is just a dreamz...but i hate simple life...coz simple=boring...thou some others love simple life..i love excitment...i love to play...the game in life...u might say i m crazy but this is wat m looking for in my life...i dun wan to hold a simple job do the simple routine everyday just like wat i m doing now...like the attachment...but can anione accept wat i wan to do?...haix...dun wan to waste my everyday wan it to pass beautifully but can i afford such life?...i dunno maybe i sldn't think so much 'zou yi bu kao yi bu'....maybe i sld just like tt...haix...
*Who can realli understand how i feel?*
Frenz: Thanks for entering my blog and read till the end...=>...hope u are not bored by my entry.
Today is mon...Eeeee...i hate mon n tuesday...haix...erm my program stuck...i dunno how to do le...shall wait boss come tell him the true...lolx...'program mei you...ming yi tiao...wan tak it...' lolx...kekeke...
Fri...Before i start my fri outing...write something about my sis...finally get the chance to tok to her before i go out...we chat in msn online...tok about how each other feel n so on...she say she regret something which she refuse to tell me and she say she got her reason for doing wat she doing...i told her she break manys heart...the heart of my parent...my grandma and of coz include the heart of mine...i almost cry while typing...so many thing i just wan her to noe...she always been a dearest sis to me...supporting my wrong n rit...all the way pull me thru...sis i wan u to noe...if i noe i will change ur life all over...i wld not wan my life back...dun wan to use ur life change for mine...*sob*...i noe i noe...i have done a greatest mistake in my whole entire life that is not able to tak it at tt time when she left me...to cry for tt cruel her...to almost ruin my whole life just for her...i noe i noe...all this i sldn't have...i lead myself to hell n also lead u all to hell...that part of my life...forever i cldn't forget...yr 2003 july...when sam FALL...fall from heaven to hell...*sob*...it's been two yr...but den it still curve deep inside...coz becoz of this i lose my sis...thou she say i dun but i think it is...can u understand my feeling...i've been blaming myself all over n over again...NOT her i dun blamn her animore is me...why can't i just put down n let her go but have to let myself suffer like this...why can't i tak it easy that time...why did i ever allow myself to fall n my family to fall for me...all the tears tt build the cloud...*sob*...I M SORRY!!!...thou i noe nothing can turn back now...n u told me if the time is ripe u will tell me the reason but i realli dying to noe why...coz i dun wan to face everyday just like i m the only child...NO I M NOT!I HAVE A SISTER!...*sob*...u nv leave my heart NEVER...ur decision hurt me...but i dun blamn u...i noe ALL my fault...i brought all this up...i brought the pain to everyone...the most to dad n mum...dey r so sad for me that time n so sad for u now...i m INFILIAL...telling myself not to repeat ever again...so when the second time i fall...i kept it all by myself...not confronting to anione...but i noe the second time is not a great fall so i m fine...but even it is...i promise not to let history ever repeat in my life again...not going to let everyone suffer just for that cruel her...i m weak i admit...but i trying n m growing stronger n stronger...for everything i do...i noe wat i m doing...maybe wat i m doing in many eyes is wrong...but for me...as long as i m not sorry to my heart...it's fine...hope u respect my choice...n PLS cld u come back to this family as soon as u could?
To:The one who save my life...
I noe u will nv read this but i noe as long as i wrote it here u will noe...i noe if it wasn't for u...i cld be dead or even mad by now...but tell me...must i lose something so dearly to me for my life...r u the one who bring me back to life but took away a part of me too?I cldn't always be there n when my parents ask me to go there...i m not really happi...not becoz i dun wan see u is becoz the place is one...haix...when i saw my sis there...she is not herself...i dunno i cldn't see her soul dere...u change her all ard...why?...i just want to get away frm dere but not frm u but can i?And for the one who want to noe why...PLEASE DUN ever go find out the ans frm her...SO WAT IF U NOE?! NOTHING going to change!...i m glad tt i did not mak that decision or now my life will be worse n i will not be happi at all...i realli hope u could let her go n let her be back to herself...the one who i noe...she is my sister!
Readers: For the above entry about my sis...dun ask me about wat is it about of my sis coz i wun say...if dun understand which i guess no one cld (unless for those who noe me well)...den just forget about it...=>
My wonderful day with my buddy...kekeke...we went to geylang...hohoho...we go eat 'tian ji' porriage den eat durian...den next day sore throat...=x...coz too late eat le lah...=PppPp...after that we both go east coast park...hahaha...when we park our car we saw one family got many many dogs...SOOoooOo CUTEZZZzz...every single breed is so CUTEzzzZZ...and that peaceful night...east coast park got MANY STARS!...
OMG...so beautiful...look upon the sky...all stars...shining bright...haha...buddy say coz the cloud today din block it so many many stars...haha...we chat n i sing...muhahaha...den stupid her say opposite got audience...lolx...but yep the night scene is so beautiful especially very late at night ard 3 plus am...After that we went to woodland to play basketball...and guess wat on my way someone race with me!...lolx...but no one win or lose coz we go seperate way at the cross junction...keke...erm...yep...back to the wonderful court...haha...as usual no one...of coz no one...if got someone will scare me ar...lolx...muahhahaha...we play shooting...erm...abit 'tui bu' le my shooting n easily pant...haiz...think coz long time nv exercise le...cannot ar must run more le...haix...ar bo...play basketball no energy how can?...lolx...she need to reach hm b4 5am n den i wanted to try short cut but in the end the short cut become long cut...lolx...but yet manage to fetch her hm b4 5am!...whahhaa...*phew* her mum haven wake up yet or next time she cannot come out den die...lolx...i will be damn LONELY!...hehez...i love being with her...she mak me luff most of the time thou some of her joke so lame!...lolx...but yep njoy myself this 2 day alotz...read on to find out about sat...keke...
SAt again buddy with me but got others...hohoho...at first me n bud meet first...i go fetch her den we go town...hohoho...we go eat le walk walk ard den XL call...wan us go fetch her...den in the end must fetch KL n K home...aiyoyo...dey put on weight le...lolx...after fetch dem home so late le den bud need to go home act act first b4 can come out n play till mrning...n so i fetch her hm left me alone n XL...lolx..we nothing to do so go play pool while waiting...fun game long time no play pool le...hey we shall challenge again next time k...muahhaha...after our game my buddy say her parent haven slp...kaoz n it's already 1am!...nvm...i decide to go my KPT lim kopi...but i need to go toilet first so i go home..haha...den she sms me ask me go fetch YW...YW stay yio chu kang...so din manage to lim my kopi den go fetch YW with XL lor...again got one car race with me...haha n i dunno still blur...when red light we stop...n i wondering why he n his gf keep look over my car...den i ask XL...den XL say coz i overtake dem they 'bu shuang'...haha...in the end realli race...*faint* this time i infront but i stop my car coz reach YW hse there le...lolx...n he Zoom over....hohoho...so fun actually...when driving bored find some excitment is good...keke...but is we hengz no traffic police...next time might not so lucky le...=x...must careful...lolx...after we fetch YW buddy call...say she can come out le den go fetch her...n guess wat?! XL say wan go ard PS dere eat dou hua so we go but reach dere close liao...so in the end...we go to geylang eat dou hua...hahaha again geylang...lolx...second destination bud wanted to go ECP again...haha...den i say dun wan la change park...so we decide to go pasir ris park n den in car change her mind say why not go airport coffee bean...'tian ar'...ok we go airport but reach dere like nothing we go pasir ris again!...in the end PARK again!...hahaha...we go 'hai bian' but den today got rain so wet wet de the sand so...we can't sit...the weather so warm....dunno why no wind at all today...haix...we joke all the way while walking ard the park...n after tt dunno go where...hahaha...den bud say go play basketball lor...lolx..den i told her...den we r like repeating our routine like tt..haha...fri we do the same thing oni different park...lolx...but yep i prefer ECP...we din go basketball court!...we go boat quey...ahem...ok la dere got some part still happening la...but other den that the street so dark n quiet...got police somemore...haha....we go home after that coz too tired le...reach hm ard...6.30am...keke...this 2 day is exciting for me...n sat i realize tt i drive for almost 8 hours...hahaha..well m qualify to drive all the way to KL le..hohoho...will de sure got chance wan...*wink*...dun forget our camping trip...hohoho...
Sun...WOW...today first espisode for the...forget wat name le but fighting wan got member of 5566...wang ren fu and tony...haha...shuai manz in dere...WOW i envy tony in the show manz...so rich n got one damn pretty gf...n noe how to fight so talented...haix...nvm i work harder...haha...lolx...aniway nothing more le except this...slp early coz mon got to work...n it's today lor!...haix
In office now...so sianz...nothing...celin move out le...even more sianz...haix...no one...feeling...sux to the core...haix...can see i damn free coz my program stuck...since nothing to do blog lor...whhahahaha...more n more blogging to come...whahahaha...this diary of mine...share with many other...include my daily life n feeling...
Current feeling : Bad day for me i think coz i m someone who always gotta mon blue so trying to find something to mak me feel excited about mon n tues...my feeling r very messy...i dunno how to say...but definately not something good...but yet i m so fortunate...i got friends i got family...but...something missing out...n i dunno wat...u all might think is the *heR...but i dun think so...haix...if she come i noe there sure be gap between my fren n family which i dun wan it to...so dun wan her...but wat is tt that i feeling so awkard?i keep thinking wat to do after my attachment i'm so afraid...wat i wan to do definatly in everyone eyes is bad or is just a dreamz...but i hate simple life...coz simple=boring...thou some others love simple life..i love excitment...i love to play...the game in life...u might say i m crazy but this is wat m looking for in my life...i dun wan to hold a simple job do the simple routine everyday just like wat i m doing now...like the attachment...but can anione accept wat i wan to do?...haix...dun wan to waste my everyday wan it to pass beautifully but can i afford such life?...i dunno maybe i sldn't think so much 'zou yi bu kao yi bu'....maybe i sld just like tt...haix...
*Who can realli understand how i feel?*
Frenz: Thanks for entering my blog and read till the end...=>...hope u are not bored by my entry.
posted by Jin yong at 3:18:00 AM
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